Join the Corporate Rights Movement!

Maybe you’ve always wanted to march for equality, but both the President and the GOP Chairman are already black, the Secretary of State is a woman, and gay people make you uncomfortable.  Here’s a chance to get in on the ground floor of the hottest new Civil Rights movement in the world.  Put on a power-tie and pack your briefcase.  The Corporate Rights Movement needs your human resources!

A recent Supreme Court decision has added to the Court’s long tradition of interpreting the Constitution in favor of new definitions of liberty.  In Citizens United v. FEC, the Court reached beyond the facts of the case to determine that corporations are entitled to the same constitutional rights as people, signaling an end to our long national nightmare of discrimination against bodiless Americans.

One brave corporation is stepping up to take advantage of our law’s new openness.  Murray Hill Corporation is challenging the State of Maryland for the right to run for Congress.  See their Facebook page and website for details and sign up to help.

Satire aside, Murray Hill’s challenge raises genuine Constitutional issues in light of the Citizens United decision.  Their campaign seems absurd on its face, but in reviewing the majority opinion their claims are entirely credible.

This kind of movement is not unprecedented.  Canadian authorities in British Columbia are currently reviewing a proposal (.pdf link) to allow corporations to vote.  No joke.  Corporations have had some limited voting rights there in the past.

The bent of the current Supreme Court has placed us in a position where corporations may potentially enjoy a more direct involvement in our political system.  We might need to start preparing for what this will mean and thinking about how it might operate.  Who will you back at the ballot box, Google or Microsoft, Boeing or Northrup-Grumann?

As Murray Hill states on their website, “It’s our democracy…We bought it, we paid for it, and we’re going to keep it.”

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