Election 2012: Zombies vs. Vampires?

I’ve found data (who can argue with data?) demonstrating that during periods of Republican political dominance there are more zombie movies produced.  When Democrats are in power, vampire movies abound.  Are zombies and vampires archtypes for the two major parties or is this just a silly attempt to attach relevance to a random statistic?  It might be useful to run a little scientific comparison.

First, are vampires a good metaphor for Democrats?  Let’s see.  Vampires aren’t all that interested in family life.  You won’t find many in the suburbs.  They’re worldly, well-spoken, and always have a lot of nice stuff, but none them seem to have a job.  They seldom join the military.  Their church attendance is erratic at best and they are extremely uncomfortable with expressions of faith.  They tend to carry that metrosexual vibe; you don’t run into a lot of burly, flannel-wearing vampires.

Vampires are incapable of seeing themselves or cooperating with each other in more than a superficial way.  And of course, they survive by draining the lifeblood from other creatures.

Hmmm…I don’t know.

And do zombies hold up as a symbol for Republicans?  Well, zombies clump together in groups.  They work very hard, but they don’t know why.  The undead are single-minded, absolutely determined, and extremely volatile.  None of them are vegetarians.  They are unreasonable and make lousy listeners.  They have no sex life to speak of, but there always seem to be more of them.  They are dead inside and don’t know it.

Zombies are gullible and easy to outwit, but won’t ever stop attacking and never seem to be entirely defeated.  Oh, and they want to eat your brain.

No, that comparison doesn’t really fit either.

These shabby attempts to tie political significance to cultural trends are generally a waste of time and this is no exception.  Granted, any sensible person would leave their wallet and other valuables at home before attending a Democratic Party grassroots rally.  You wouldn’t wander into a crowd of those folks looking like you had something someone else could use. But vampires?

And sure, the last thing you’d want to flash at a Tea Party Rally is a big, fat, juicy brain.  Listening to those speeches about “taking our country back” and the tedious lectures on the 10th Amendment can make you pray for someone to scoop your brainpan clean, but that doesn’t mean it will happen.  At least, probably not.

Using zombies and vampires as political metaphors?  Ridiculous.

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