Why Are Those Welfare-Swilling Coloreds Calling Me a Racist???

This is not a storyline I was tracking very closely, but it has taken a turn too idiotic to ignore.

To recap, the NAACP last week called out the Tea Party Movement for tolerating racists in the ranks.  Now, I don’t pay much attention to this sort of thing.  The NAACP has suffered the curse of its success, finding itself stumbling aimlessly into our era with nothing much to do besides dig for perceived racism.  But boy, did they ever strike a goldmine here.

The TP’ers came out fighting, with no less credible a figure than Sarah Palin stepping up to sympathize with Tea Partiers enduring the “trauma” of those racism allegations.  Fine.  So far, all of it playing out according to the standard script.

Then it got interesting.

Mark Williams who is a “leader” (the term requires an asterisk in TP circles) of The Tea Party Express made the TV rounds explaining that its “impossible” for there to be racism in the TP movement.  Impossible?  That seems a little strong.

In order to drive the point home, he published a jaw-dropping parody letter from the NAACP President to Abraham Lincoln asking to re-instate slavery.  Yup.  That’s right.  As further proof that there could not possibly be any racist element in the Tea Party Movement, I present this excerpt from the “satirical” work of Mark Williams, parodying the voice of the NAACP President:

“Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.”  That is outrageous!    How will we Colored People ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn?  Totally racist!  The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?”

Three letters – W. T. F?

When I first read this, I suspected some sort of a hoax.  Nobody is that stupid.  I looked around for denials.  Nada.  Then came Mark Williams’ own “apology,” which sits in the place where the letter had originally been posted.  Basically, he seems to think that the whole hullabaloo was about his use of the term “colored” and blames the NAACP for doing the same thing.  Yep.  The whole thing was real and he isn’t apologizing.  A choice excerpt from his statement:

“Now that Mr. Jealous and others realize their error and seek to mend fences it becomes my job to not offend rational people who disagree with me on the relevant issues while not sacrificing the truth.”

Who are these people and what color is the sky on their planet?

Response so far from the Republican leadership?  Insert your own cricket-chirping .wav file here.

So, let me make this appeal to my Party one more time.  How are long are we going to coddle these idiots?  Are we going to stubbornly insist on riding this crazy wave right up onto the rocks?  Remember, the future of the GOP is the least important thing at stake here.  The critical question is how the conservative values we once represented will survive our descent into madness. What will be the future of limited government, conservative values, and American power in the world when these people have finished with us?

There is a quote from our history that just rings in my ears now day and night:

“Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”

In case some of you aren’t vomiting on your keyboards yet, here is Williams’ original work in all its glory:


NAACP Resolution: Colored People change minds about emancipation


In every one of the dozens of interviews that I have done regarding the anti-Tea Party resolution passed by the NAACP I have brought up the absurdity of a group that calls blacks “Colored People” hurling charges of racism.  Whats more, each interviewer has defended that phrase and expressed surprise that I would consider that phrase to be racist!

Apparently Colored People are an entirely new race of people and one to which the title applies.   Here NAACP President Precious Ben Jealous explains to President Abraham Lincoln the reasons for the resolution in this newly discovered letter :

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing.  Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards.  That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week.  We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly.  Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for?  What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare?  What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds!  Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.”  What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life?  As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.”  Again, they directly target Colored People.  That means we Colored People would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.”  That is outrageous!    How will we Colored People ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn?  Totally racist!  The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever.  We had a great gig.  Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house.  Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.


Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person


2 Responses

  1. Why is it that nothing you attribute to that mark williams can be confirmed by any links to the actual material?

  2. Is there a broken link?

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